I have bad news. We’ve lost Gym Buddy Allison. To “the robot.” And yes, it’s just like it sounds.
Monday night in Hip Hop Hustle, we were all poppin’ and lockin’ and then Allison heard a pop and felt a lock… in her lower back. It was instantaneous, girlfriend went from crunk to cripple in the space of one 80’s-throwback move.
We’re not sure exactly why or how it happened. We did the action hero workout that morning and there was some back-intensive moves (deadlifts, bent over rows, picking up a towel really slowly in case Gym Hottie was around) but nothing we haven’t done a million times before. And yet it’s hard to believe that strong girl Allison could be felled by one bad dance move.
I went and checked up on her today and not only can she not lay down, sit up or walk she also has this funny s-shape to her torso now. She’s a human leaning tower of Pisa. On muscle relaxers. Wheee!
My Daddy is So Proud of Me
The best part of all of this is that we happen to have it captured on video. Turbo/Hustler Jennie (oh, she SO needs a personalized t-shirt) decided to videotape the awesomeness that is a bunch of Minnesota soccer moms – and one dad! – hip hopping like high school kids. Well, like high school kids that know how babies are made and what expensive little time-suckers they are when they pop out and are therefore understandably reluctant to act it out in a public venue. We’re a pretty tame bunch but Jennie manages to get our inner Beyonce out somehow.
So we taped the first show:
I ought to let you play Where’s Waldo and figure out which one I am but since I know you are busy folk, I’ll give you a hint. “DON’T DO IT!” That’s right – that’s my neon pink & white butt. Pretty much the only time I’m visible on camera is when we’re doing the booty shake. What can I say? I just wanna be like Leslie! Anyhow, notice Allison, in the green shorts & black tank (the only one of us other than Jennie that can wear a baseball cap tipped sideways without looking like she is in the community theater presentation of Step It Up) standing upright and dancing her little heart out.
Now check her out in the second show:
She can’t bend. Nor can she stand up straight. It makes me hurt just looking at her. (Sorry for the iffy quality of the videos – I don’t think Turbo Jennie blanked our faces out on purpose. Although maybe she was just trying to protect us from ourselves.) Still though, gotta give her props for gutting it out ’till the end.
Seriously, that’s how fun Hip Hop Hustle is! You throw your back out and you still want to dance. It’s the only workout I don’t usually wear my heart rate monitor for – I’m just having too much fun to worry about the burn:) I don’t care if I am the least sexy person on the planet, dancing makes me feel like a rock star. SUCH a rush!
So you will understand why in the end we were all grinning (although you will note that Allison there on the right is not quite standing and a little hunched over to one side):
PS> Whatever my post is tomorrow, I swear it will not include a picture of me. Especially a picture of me in an ill-advised hat.