Homework: Special Ops

You can take the teacher out of the classroom but I’ll stop being a teacher when you pry the dry erase marker from my cold, dead hands. You get homework this weekend. Quit whining. No, I won’t accept a doctor’s note. That is not leprosy on your hand – it’s powdered sugar from the “donette” you had for lunch. Cheaters will fail. Fail what class exactly? Um, life. I don’t have the power to fail you in life? Well, I should.

(Tangentially related story: Once, during a test, I spotted one of my students using a cell phone to, I assumed, cheat. When I confiscated said phone, I was surprised to see he was looking at porn instead of the periodic table. When I asked him why on earth he would risk his phone and then not even use it to help him on the test, he replied, “Your test was stressing me out.” Oh, well in THAT case…. Incidentally, this was the same class in which a different student MOONED me.)

But First
You all amused me so much these past two days with your tips on “how to stay young” that I simply must share the best with you (and by “best” I mean, made me laugh so hard that hyenas thought me boorish):

Swerdna – “I bathe in Lipton tea twice a week.”
WundaLucy – “Fully, my trick to appearing young and stuff is like to totally stay like young and sound like a thirteen year old. For serious yo.”
Stephanie – “Woo-hoo! Hot pool boys who serve tall cool drinks of manjoyment…er… delicious tea definitely keep me young.”
Geekgirl – “All the cool kids are bathing in the blood of virgins. Wasteful, yes, but someone has to pay the price for youth & beauty!”
Rachel – “I want to relive my glory days of winning races and beating my husband on hills. It appears that the bike he bought me although it seems very light must have some defect like a brake rub or quirk that doesn’t allow me to go faster than him ever. Only he and the bike shop know for sure.” [And congrats on the 6 push-ups girl! That’s huge!!]
sjansen – “riding on the back of the grocery cart all the way to the car (you know you want to, too)”
Katieo – “To stay young I buy Lucky Charms. And eat them.” [As opposed to… playing lick-n-stick?”]

The contest also had the added bonus of calling out a bunch of you lurkers! So a big ol’ welcome to new or nearly new-bies: Jen, determinedtobefit, sjansen, Zwarrior15,Leigh Anne (totally checking out the action her workout right now!), Alice, seabreeze, Beanie (stalk me- online – any day, girl!), genevieve, CallieNae & nice legs (mine or yours??)

The Army Ranger Special Ops Test
Courtesy of Jen over at Survival of the Fittest, I came across The Special Ops Fitness Test where you get to test yourself against Army Ranger standards. Because I love to compete with people who are so obviously more fit than I am, I jumped all over this one. Gym Buddy Allison and I did half of it on Friday and will do the second half (and post our results) on Monday.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it (and come on, I’ll give you a gold star on your forehead!) is: 80 situps in 2 minutes, 12 or more chinups (yes, that’s in a row), 80 pushups in 2 minutes, and… 2 miles in 13 minutes!

I don’t expect that we will be invited to join the Rangers anytime soon, not to mention that if I shave my head I look like diseased chihuahua, but it’s always fun to challenge yourself. And this is a good way to measure your progress. Take the test now and then again after a month or two of working out and be amazed at how you went from Olive Oyl to Popeye overnight! (Gender reassignment surgery not necessary.)

New Experiment Coming Monday!