Sorry – this pic isn’t funny (hey, stop laughing! Vampires love me!) but I had to show off my awesome “Great Fitness Experiment” T-shirt from Blackbird Tees. Honestly, the nicest custom tee I’ve ever worn! And you like those sweat marks? ‘Cause I totally just climbed a 5.10 rock wall!!! You might say I rocked it. Now, that’s funny stuff:)In the current issue of Fitness, Elisabeth Hasselbeck (apparently a controversial figure although I have no idea why as I’ve never seen Survivor, The View or Football), confesses that for years she had an “exercise-dependency issue.” Which, as it always is in magazine land, is totally and miraculously cured now. I hate how in our culture we are only allowed to talk about our problems in the past tense. If we mention that we are currently struggling with something, that makes us weak but if it’s all in the past, (even if the past is only 6 weeks in Elisabeth’s case) then we’re heroes. We’re survivors without the capital “s” and million-dollar purse.
But enough of my issues, back to hers. She says of her daily runs “I would think about that six-mile run every day with fear. More than looking forward to it, I dreaded not fitting it in. I used to hate my days off. I’d feel guilty, like I was lazy for not doing anything.”
On one level that really strikes a chord with me. I don’t dread my workouts at all, in fact I probably love them a little too much, but I definitely agree with the part about hating the off days and feeling guilty and lazy. It even sometimes extends to permission to eat that day. I don’t starve myself (anymore) but on my “rest” days I am often highly anxious and aware that every bite I eat hasn’t been “earned” and I’ll have to pay the debt the next day.
I can also relate to her fear of not fitting her workout in. I’m the kind of girl that when my baby pukes at midnight, my second thought, right after “Why did I feed him yogurt and pineapple chunks for dinner,” is how I’m going to adjust my workout schedule to compensate. Obviously I won’t be able to take him to the gym day care so that means I’ll either need to run outside before my husband leaves for work or ditch the kids the second he gets home to make that p.m. class. And if I choose the night class option? I worry about it all day. What if I end up not making it? What if my husband gets home late? What if I’m too tired? What if I get sick too?
Elisabeth concludes, “I’m finally learning to enjoy exercise because of how it makes me feel, not because I’m afraid of how I’ll feel if I miss it.” I work out when I’m sick or injured. I work out every holiday. I work out on vacation. I never miss a day. I even worked out the morning I went into labor. Part of it is that it is such a great stress reliever – I’m a very high strung girl with a lot of energy and exercise takes the ants out of my pants. Plus I’m totally addicted to the endorphin rush. But part of it is fear of how I’ll feel if I don’t exercise.
Lucky for me, there’s already an Exercise Dependency Checklist – love the Internet! Anyone else love self tests or am I the only one so warped by Cosmo? Get your pencils ready…
1. Bad Moods. Do you feel depressed over a bad workout? Is there a significant change in your mood before and after your workout? Do you feel guilty if you intentionally skip a workout? (My score: 1 for guilt but I actually think exercise helps with my depression – it’s really turned me into a chirpy, smiley, glass-half-full girl. I’m annoying, I know.)
2. Distorted Priorities. Do you get anxious when a social event or work interferes with exercise? Do friends or family members comment on the effect that your exercise schedule has on them? Do you unnecessarily take time off work to train or compete? Does only exercise provides you with a sense of accomplishment? (My score: um, 3. I actually told my husband once, in a fit of hysteria, “my workouts are the only time I feel good about myself!”)
3. Ignored Consequences. Have you have exercised in unsafe conditions or exercised in spite of injury, fatigue, or illness? (Totally. 1. But where’s the line between die-hard and crackpot? There is a line, right??)
4. Unrealistic Expectations. Do you frequently increase your intensity or volume to maintain a certain level of fitness? Does your training routine makes it difficult to exercise with others? (Probably 1, although I think I play well with others:))
5. Unwarranted Worries. Do you worry that a new job won’t allow enough time for exercise? Do you worry that taking just one day off will cause you to lose your motivation to exercise? Do you worry that you are not keeping pace with others in the weight room or elsewhere? (1. Maybe 2 if competing with Gym Buddy Allison counts for the third question.)
Total score: 7 out of 13. So I’m not code red yet. (Is that the highest level of the terrorist alert? I’ve always been so confused about how exactly that scale works. My airport is permanently stuck at orange. Frankly, I think it’s just an underachiever.) I would add that in our society, you almost have to be a little compulsive about your exercise. Our lifestyles are not conducive to unintentional exercise so sometimes you do have to go out of your way to plan it. And some of us plan everything else around it;)
Jay Morrow, PhD, a sports psychologist in New York adds, “It is the quality of exercise and the person’s attitude toward it that causes concern. Two people can do exactly the same amount of exercise, but their attitudes toward the activity can be completely different.” Which is probably my redeeming grace. I may be exercise dependent but I’m totally having a blast doing it!
PS> You want to see something really funny?? Somebody called me a “health and fitness expert”! Check out the awesomeness (plus Leslie & Crabby are on there too!).
Your funny for the day. Didn’t want you to feel ripped off.
yay.
another full on shot of your fabulousity!!
we dont get enough of those up in herre.
Really good post about the dependency, C.
so personal & honest.
(& LOVE THE TEE!)
M.
wait – how do you score the test? I think I’m missing something…
I work out a lot! Sometimes too much, but I have adapted to my dysfunction 🙂
My friends who have not maintained a fit lifestyle are breaking down. I only break down from over exercise. Seems to me that physical injuries heal much better than metabolic injuries. Until I see a real reason to cut back, I’m keeping this experiment going!
Sign that Dr. J
yes, yes & me too to everything you said. hence the reason I get up at 4am to make sure I get my work out in.
Thanks for that! I didn’t know I had a problem!
I kind of get freaked out about getting enough miles in and when I’m going to do them and, and, and-wooo – deep breath! I’ve had to really make myself evaluate as of late. I give running and food too much power over me. It is just exercise. It is just food. My life is not going to stop or even be that dramatically altered if I miss a day or even do 3 miles instead of 6. It’s a process huh!
Not really sure about the Elisabeth Hasselbeck thing except she was Rosie O’Donnell’s nemesis on the View because she is such a staunch republican…or something like that??
As far as the exercising goes, I can definitely be a little neurotic at times. But I do know when to rest (most of the time), which is what I did yesterday (blisters). Well, I lifted weights yesterday, but I don’t count that as exercise because I hate it. (Now isn’t that a weird sentence?) But it’s only wimpy-weights, but they make me feel all jello-y and it’s hard to cook dinner when you keep dropping stuff. I can’t wait to go home tonight and run! I’m headed to Chicago this weekend, so I’ve been a little worried about that, but I’ll be with family and I’ll just have to take it in stride and not worry about it. Of course my 4 year old niece may actually improve my endurance, so we’ll see!
First: Ugh – I totally hate how warped the view is that you should only have had problems in the ‘past’ and that to be currently working on something means you are a lesser person…or some inferred BS like that; that all your self improvement is complete by the present moment – done!
Second: I really relate to this post…I definitely feel that I am exercise dependent to an extent and I LOVE my workouts – I love to be doing them, I love how they make me feel, I love finally in my life to think of myself as ‘athletic’ (however warped that perception is). There are occasions where my hubby says that “I do too much”, but I think he is just feeling guilty about exercising less himself. My exercise time doesn’t interrupt my social or family life any more than another hobby would. I take rest days, but sometimes have to battle those crazy thoughts about being lazy – in my head I know that rest is a part of the spectrum and that it can help with performance, but sometimes the irrational brain fights with the rational one.
Thanks so much for writing this! (The magazine fantasy world is really ridiculous. Maybe that’s why it can be so addictive).
I’m pretty exercise dependent too- the bad mood, distorted priorities and unwarranted worries describe me very well. But I think the important thing is being aware of its affect and managing it that way- I know that I’m exercise dependent but I am also happier and more motivated because of exercise. I’m learning how to not feel guilty or worry about not fitting it in, but sometimes its hard to suppress those guilty feelings. And I’m making sure not to let it interfere with my social life to a great degree.
I can safely say that my exercise neurosis is MUCH better than it used to be. It’s not a compulsive thing anymore, it’s enjoyable (and now, it’s my job-wheee!). I also don’t overdo it too much, and don’t feel as guilty if I skip a workout now and again. Phew!
OK, the reason I hate EH is because she’s one of those people who thinks she has all the answers to life, the universe, and everything, or at least acts like she does. She’s still young, I don’t think she’s suffered through a lot in her life (although that’s an assumption, so shame on me), and just comes across as one of those “my life is perfect, I’m perfect, do as I say and you can be perfect like me” types.
As far as her being a republican, that’s her business and her right (no pun intended!). It’s not her politics. She’s just annoying.
But then again, so is “The View!”
And I REALLY wish women who gave birth six months ago and are now prancing around in bikinis would STOP posing for magazines and making the rest of us feel bad! (You know, those of us who don’t have nannies, maids, chefs, on-call personal trainers, personal assistants…)
first a rant–why do these mags never focus on HOW they have recovered from these things??
anyway, i am totally guilty of all of this. i too stress about when and how and where i will get my workout in during my day. and if i don’t, everyone in my family suffers.
i totally agree with azusmom. the bikini shoot of EH made me feel worse about myself, not better.
Wow – reading all these comments has made me feel SO MUCH better about myself! Glad to know I’m not the only girl who gets a little neurotic about her workouts. And I totally agree – seeing EH in a bikini 2 months after gestating made me feel more depressed than inspired.
I love you guys!!
PS> Leslie, for scoring I just gave myself one point for every question I answered “yes” to.
Given that it takes a LOT of effort to work in exercise and stay motivated, I think you have to be bit neurotic about it in order to stay on track.
If you take a totally mellow attitude towards working out, there’s a good chance it will never happen. So I think in some ways it’s kind of “normal” for conscientious exercisers to be a bit obsessive, if that makes any sense.
But I do agree there’s such thing as taking it too far…
I depend on exercise to help elevate my mood and beat out stress. Lately, after a long and stressful day at work, all I want to do is go for a long run.
I too, feel a little bad about missing a day or taking a day off. But I try not to let it bother me too much, and sneak in an extra bit of walking or stairs when I can.
I’m going away for the weekend, and you can bet I’m taking my running shoes.
damn, girl, you’re giving mizfit a run for her money!
i read that article in the bathtub with a sleeve of pringles last night. I get anxious if i dont workout, but i think its more because i am so used to it for releiving stress after work. i dont pay special attention to my food or anything, but i do notice the difference.
I had exercise dependency in my 20’s. On one crazy trip to Taiwan, I went running at night in the middle of who knows where because I just couldn’t sit in my hotel room and the gym treadmills were taken. That was so dumb to go out in a foreign country in the middle of the night. I set myself straight after that when after I told my collegues about my night jog they reprimanded me. I deserved it.
Today, I look forward to exercise time as de-stress time. If I don’t get my 5 days a week in that’s ok. If I miss a week, no biggie. The body adjusts and sometimes just needs to slow down and rest.
just scored 12 out of 13, not cool. currently suffering all except 4 of the 19 symptoms of overtraining. Does anyone know where i can get help? As sick as i am all i can think about is working out.
Anonymous – Not knowing your situation I can't give you a specific referral for help but I would encourage you to reach out to someone. If you are underage, talk to a parent, teacher or clergy person. If you are older then definitely contact your doctor. And also a therapist, one preferably with a background in compuslive exercise. Here's the thing: the longer you wait to get help, the more damage you do to your body and the longer you will have to go without exercise to recover. Eventually your body will force you to rest either thru injury or sickness – and wouldn't you rather choose to rest on your terms now? I hope you get this message and reach out to someone for help!