You Versus Special K

Many things in life make no sense. Cereal should not be one of them.

When I was in New York, I saw a very large billboard that took up (and I kid you not) the entire side of a building. A huge building. And what did it feature? Darfur? The 2008 presidential election? An expensive car, even? It was breakfast cereal. Specifically the breakfast cereal that (coincidentally?) shares its name with a date-rape drug.

Yay Special K!
The copy read “Swimsuit Season starts May 21st!” with a picture of a woman squaring off with a red bikini. In between the gladiator and the lion (which is which?) screamed “You Vs. The Swimsuit!”

In a move that I can only imagine was accompanied by the sound of a thousand marketing hands smacking foreheads, Special K does not have the ad on their site. So I cannot show you a picture of the offending ad although if you read any women’s mags, you’ve probably seen it already.

I did find the accompanying ad on their site:
It faces the bikini ad. Anyone else find irony in an ad that says “design your victory plan” in the era of the everyone-loses Iraq war? Not to get all political up in here but if we put half the money we spend on diet pills towards aiding refugees, we could make all the displaced-persons camps look like 4-star hotels.

But it’s not just the frivolity of the campaign that bothers me. It’s the implied urgency. Bikini season starts MAY 21 PEOPLE! Rev up the crash diets. Get that lipo-dissolve. Unlock all that self loathing. And for heaven’s sake, replace two entire meals of the day with processed, boxed, “diet” cereal! Of course you’ll lose inches off your waist. A bowl of Special K has 160 calories WITH the milk. Not exactly a well-balanced meal.

Plus, the third ingredient is sugar. The fourth ingredient? High fructose corn syrup. Suh-weet! 22 grams of carbs and less than 1 gram of fiber. So when your blood sugar crashes and you feel like crap, at least you can blame it on the bikini.

PS> Please don’t e-mail me saying “Special K’s not so bad – Cap’n Crunch is way worse for you!” Of course there are worse cereals than Special K. But nobody holds up a crunchberry bikini and tells you to replace 2/3 of your daily sustenance with the Cap’n just so you can fit into it by their arbitrary deadline.

14 Comments

  1. I’ve seen the commercials on TV, and what gets me is the woman they used as the one who wants to get into the red bikini. She looks too thin already and I thought to myself, girlfriend actually needs to add an inch to her waist. And right, Special K products are filled with multiple sugars including the yucky HFCS. You could actually lose an inch off your waist if you stopped eating their products.

    Since it was NY, I’m curious to know if the billboard was speaking to all those fashion models who roam like Gazelle in the city. I’m surprised Andre Leon Talley isn’t on his blow horn screaming at everyone to skinnify pronto as a size 8 is too big ala Mariah Carey. *ugh*

  2. For some reason every season Special K focuses on the idea of being swimsuit ready. How on earth that has anything to do with cereal is beyond me.
    When I was in the UK they used a gorgeous model in their ads (one who is considered ‘plus size’ but is around an American 10-12). So I gave them kudos for not resorting to using her just as the before picture.
    But then they go and do these sorts of things. Particularly if, as Steph says, the woman on the ad already looks like she’s too thin.

    Plus the relating it to war? ERGH!

  3. I cant believe they are still kindasorts using that old campaign…the twist on the CAN YOU PINCH AN INCH.

    (and yes, I too thought the same as S. and immediately went to special K as weight gainer. CAN YOU ADD AN INCH?)

    M.

  4. I totally agree with Stephanie! That gal needs to add a few inches to her frame.

    But I’ve got an idea for those who do want to lose an inch around their waists. Eat well, be active, and do some crunches!

    I’m tired of adds that tell us women we’ll never be good enough unless we lose 5 more lbs, 1 more inch, and can fit into that tiny bikini.

  5. While I do have a personal goal of being happy to wear a bikini (now I’d wear it, but I’d be happier in board shorts), I certainly don’t expect it by May 21st, and a low-fiber, low protein cereal is certainly not going to get me where I want to be. You may lose inches, but wouldn’t they be inches of underlying muscle, not fat?

    And with the exception of those firmly entrenched in the boot camp fitness movement, please, no more war analogies, Madison Avenue!

  6. yeah, ive always had a problem with the “special K diet”. Of course if you replace 2 of your meals with something that is around 300 calories you will lose weight. but you will gain it back as soon as you stop, not learn healthy habits and miss out on vital nurtients. not to mention, be bored out of your mind and end up sitting in front of the open fridge, scarfing down anything you can get your hands after a few days.

    http://www.everygymsnightmare.com

  7. My Ice Cream Diary

    And who wants to eat Special K for two meals everyday for the rest of their life to maintain the weightloss? Not I.

    And why are they still using the swimsuit bit? Because it works! People are still frantically buying it as a diet miracle.

  8. Thank you tons for this post. It’s EXACTLY how I feel!

    Admittedly, back in the day (ie. before I actually knew [somewhat] what I was doing in regards to my health), I was a huge fan of Special K. It said on the box it was part of a nutritious lifestyle, plus it was low in calories and fat so I liked the idea of having a huge heaping bowl of cereal (psht, why would I want only 1/4 cup of granola if I could have 5 times that much of Special K?!). *hangs head in shame* I’m pretty sure there’s NOTHING nutritious about Special K.

    And I WISH we had huge billboards about Darfur… maybe if genocides were staring us in the face like that every day then the politicians around here would be forced to take some actual action in saving lives.

  9. OK, who decides that “swimsuit season” (and, BTW, last time I checked there were 4 seasons, and “swimsuit” wasn’t one of them!) starts on a certain day? What if it’s cold and rainy that day, hmm?

    Yeah, there’s another Special K ad that features a button popping off the sweater of a super-skinny woman, who then is convinced she must lose weight. (Hello? Buy a bigger sweater-duh!)

    And protein water. HUH?!?!?!

    I’m going to create my own text for those ads: “Right now, you’re thinking you’re really hungry and need a decent breakfast to get through the morning. Luckily, behind the box of sugar-infused, zero-nutrient cereal, you find a loaf of whole grain bread and a jar of nut butter! And look! There’s some fruit! Now you can make it to lunch without passing out at your desk!”

    I was glad to see another company (the one that has actors dressed like the sun, moon, a rainbow, etc.) make fun of the “cereal diet.”

  10. New reader to your blog, and I’m really enjoying it! Thanks so much!

    And Special K is kind of gross. With red berries? ick. Chocolate Delight? nasty.

    But that is pretty crazy…the whole side of the building?! Weirdd!!

  11. I’m so glad someone else is as baffled by this as I am. It’s like that yogurt commercial where the skinny woman eats their HFCS laden yogurt to fit into her bikini.

    Doesn’t anyone realize a low-calorie, virtually fiber-less cereal won’t give you enough energy to hit the gym? Well… maybe the gym floor after you pass out from lack of nutrients.

    Can’t we have a You vs. the 5K or something?

  12. What does this mean for a girl who just bpught a brand of cereal called Puffins? No bikini for me!

    I do love cereal, and when I eat it, I go big. I’d imagine my bowl contains 2-3 cups of dry cereal, plus a full banana and a crapload of milk (not goat’s milk, Charlotte, tho I know you have a soft spot for it.) I will not be losing any inches, apparently. Prolly will temporarily gain some from all that lactose-induced bloating. Fun for a hot day at the beach!

  13. I tried this at one point – not so much a good idea – they fail to mention that if you do any sort of rigorous physical activity you will be STARVING – I did lose weight but also felt like passing out during after-school practices. Stupid commercials – but it was interesting to just eat the same thing every single day.
    Sounds like good marketing to me.

  14. In the 80s – i was a preteen and remember the “can’t pinch an inch” campaign. it was the first time, i felt bad about my body. I was a normal weight but I could “pinch in inch” It was the first time in my life that i had the thought – “I have to lose weight” It is sad.