If you don’t get this, face it – you’re not a geek.
I have a confession to make: I once punched myself in the face during kick boxing. Because I was trying to read my heart rate monitor. Okay, true confession: I’ve done that more than once. It’s embarrassing.
The Geek Squad
When the Gym Buddies and I hit the gym floor, it’s like watching the starting line of the Academic Olympiad. (And to those of you who actually competed in the Academic Olympiad and are saying “Wait, there’s no starting line! “Olympiad” is metaphorical! Not to mention grammatically incorrect!” I must answer, with love, “Geek.”) The first step of every workout is to… synchronize our watches. I’m not kidding. We adjust – sometimes blatantly down the top of our tank tops – our chest straps. We spit on our fingers and get the nodes wet. And then, we hold our multi-colored watch-strapped wrists out so we can start the little number-crunchers all together.
Our first warm-up lap around the track consists of “Is yours on?” “I think mine’s been messed up lately!” “Hold up, I can’t get mine to read.” Occasionally one of us flat lines. It’s a sad, sad day when your friend announces she has no pulse and you answer “Try spitting down your shirt again.”
I Blame Them
I never had a heart rate monitor, nor any interest in one, until I met up with my current roster of Gym Buddies. Allison and Candice looked so cool and sophisticated and techy with their Polars. And after class when they’d discuss max heart rates and zones and calories burned, my naked arm burned with envy. I just wanted to fit in. So I broke down and got one. Which was a good thing because it had been far too long since my last co-dependent relationship.
Not only could I now watch my heart’s every move (is it possible to stalk an organ?), I could also gauge intensity without having to “perceive” my exertion. I could tally calories burned and maxes achieved. I could even see how low my resting heart rate is when we did Corpse Pose (a.k.a. Super Boring Pose) in Yoga – 42 for any of you that care. Besides, how much better to run my experiments with even MORE numbers?
The numbers can have a downside. My week on the Numbers Diet Experiment was blissfully peaceful. In fact, Gym Buddy Allison has not weighed herself once since we did that experiment and is loving it. I’m so proud of her (and a bit jealous)! But the allure of statistics keeps me coming back. I wouldn’t have been able to do my superfun metabolic test without my monitor (which I just realized makes it sound like I’m on house arrest – incidentally, the closest I’d ever come to being Martha Stewart, knock on wood). I wouldn’t know if Hip Hop Hustle is as good a workout as TurboKick or just so much fun that you don’t notice you’re burning mega calories. But most of all, I wouldn’t know when I’m not working at my full potential. Type A, much?
And I’m not alone. The venerable New York Times recently ‘fessed up to a tech-crush on their heart-rate monitors. I think we need a support group.
R U Geek 2?
Do you spit on yourself before workouts? Is your wrist shackled with a candy-colored gadget that cost more than the last non-athletic pair of shoes you bought? Do you introduce your GPS/monitor/calculator at parties? I have to know – Do you love yours as much as I love mine?
You get down to a resting heart rate of 42????!!!!!
Not that I care about numbers.
My problem with heart rate monitors is the charts that go with them. I have always had a really fast heartbeat, so to get truly anaerobic I end up with numbers that go way over what a normal person’s maximum possible heart rate is. I should technically be dying of a heart attack when I do intervals. So since I haven’t died yet, I’m starting to ditch the monitor as taking it too seriously is leading to slacking. It also reassures me I’m in an aerobic zone when I’m barely moving.
(And I’ve discovered KY works longer than spit, though I always want to tell the people at the drugstore the real reason I’m buying lube).
Great post!
I’ve never had a heart rate monitor. I have a freakishly low pulse rate to begin with, so whenever we had to take our pulse during runs in college fitness class, mine would barely say I was working as hard as I should. My instructor actually thought something was wrong with me when I told her my resting heart rate.
I do like gadgets, though, and I have an accelerometer watch that tells me miles/time/speed and calories burned during a run. Then I go home and graph it all.
I’m totally in love with my heart rate monitor. After having my heart rate tested at the gym I found that my numbers don’t coinside at all with the numbers on the chart. I think that helps me work out at a more appropriate level.
I just use water on the receptors – doesn’t spit start to smell after awhile?
I think I would totally distract myself from my training if I had a cool toy like a HR monitor. I’m already obsessed with my Garmin GPS watch on runs, sometimes to the point of wandering off the path or tripping because I’m staring at my wrist. Oh, but I love it so, and feel nekkid without it.
Crabby & Gena – I think most of us don’t fit the standard charts. If you get your exercise threshold testing done, it will come up with a personalized chart based around your CO2 respirations & correlate your target heart rates around that. It’s quite accurate. (I’m like you Gena – lower than normal pulse & blood pressure – so my chart is ratcheted up to reflect that). Not saying you should get the testing but it WAS informative:)
Crabby & Gretchan – Yes, I have some lube at home that I use when I remember to. But if I’m in the middle of a run somewhere, spit’s just easier. Although I DO WASH IT Gretchan. Silly girl;)
And Crabby, ‘fessing up to the drug store folk? Classic!!
yes, I am obsessed with my hrm too. If it goes out of whack during a workout, I cannot continue until I fix it. I have an older one though, so it sometimes ‘reads’ others heart rates and makes me stress about not working hard enough or working too hard.
and I’m sure people think I’m feeling myself up when I am out running and have to re-adjust the strap. Do I care? No….because I must get a reading asap! 🙂
Now I really want a heart rate monitor! I have no idea what my heart rate is. I’ve tried just checking my pulse with my finger but whenever I do that I either can’t quite find my pulse or else I lose count etc etc. You’ve got me all intrigued about getting one.
…I think I found myself a new mission!
I must admit that my HR monitor is the cheapest one I could find. (Sorry!)
My PEDOMETER, however, is pretty fancy-schmancy-thank-you-nancy! I started with a basic one, and just kept moving up. It got a little ridiculous; at one point I think I had, like 6 of them, including one you can hook up to your computer and it will download all your stats.
I actually had to stop wearing it for a while, because part of my IE process was getting rid of my obsessive behaviors. It was hard, but now, I’m glad to say, I can wear it without getting TOO psycho.
Usually.
My newest desire? One of those wristwatch/GPS/pedometer combos. I could TOTALLY geek out on that!!!!
Hey its Colleen – I posted on your sugar free entry – and you said to email you about a daily sampling – although I am a little nervous to see what I am potentially in for – curiosity always wins out – unfortunately I cant get to your email address – freakin computers – but mine is zwarrior15@gmail.com! If you wouldnt mind shooting me an email whenever you get the chance!
You know I never even thought about spitting on the nodes, I always just run it under the tap and then am bloody cold when I put it around my chest!
I have been known to fall over the treadmill on occasion because I’m concentrating too hard on my Polar.
And likewise it was some girls at my old gym who got me into the Polar club – they had them and they were just so shiny and pretty and I had to had to have one!
What I like best about HR monitors is that I like being able to be realistic about when I’m slacking off and when I’m actually over-exerting myself. Plus it has graphs and stuff!
I wonder how I ever did a workout without my Polar. I absolutely love it. And when something goes wrong with it, something goes wrong with my workout because I get into a total funk. I literally cried when I accidently left my Garmin Forerunner on the roof of my car and it flew off and got run over by a minivan. I couldn’t even run that day because however would I know what my pace was?
just discovered your blog and am reading back …
i used to work at 24 hour fitness (never had a serious problem with my own self body image until working there – that place helped spiral me back into depression) where they sell bodybuggs – if you watch the biggest loser, i know they were on there one season.
the program is this: you answer questions about your fitness level, your goals, etc. and then it pops out with a program for you to follow – how many calories you should burn per day, how many to consume per day and in what percentage (for me, it was 60% carb, 20% fat and 20% protein).
i got serious (or anal. either way) about this, so i logged my food down to the spinach leaf. i pretty much quit eating out since it was a.) hard to find good stuff to eat and b.) a pain to find all the nutritional info you need to add the food if it’s not in the program already. i also ended up buying a food scale to measure my portions to the ounce.
in short, i went insane. my progress was also ridiculously slower than in theory it should have been … even when i somehow achieved the impossible by almost always adhering to that 60/20/20.
that’s not to say, however, that i haven’t completely given up on workout technology. i recently got a new road bike and was talked into getting a cyclometer to go with it. i’ve only tested it out once so far, but if me making sure my cadence is always right around 80 when i ride makes me a more efficient cyclist (and therefore helping me chop my time down on the cycling portion of my tri), it’ll be worth it.
plus, i only have to be anal about one thing with the cyclometer as opposed to EVERYTHING with the bugg.
T! You sound just like me. Seriously. You make me glad I never got a Bugg though – I’m already borderline insane;)
Thanks for sharing your thoughts about garmin oregon gps wiki.
Regards
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