Having finished the CrossFit experiment but not having found a new suitable experiment (plus still secretly loving CrossFit and MBG), I decided to throw in a few “fun” workouts that I’ve been wanting to try for a while now.
The results were surprising and involved a LOT of weird looks at the gym this week. Which of course means it was a total success.
Shorty Experiment #1: The Ballet Method
I posted a little bit about this before, but basically it’s a workout based around how ballerinas get their pointe on.
50 high heel parallel squats
50 diamond shape squats
50 standing seat work (each leg)
50 fold-over seat (each leg)
50 pretzel (which should really be called Nails Stabbing Into Each Butt Cheek – each leg)
50 ballerina curls
50 leg lifts under the bar (see pic here)
Me & the Gym Buddies (we so need to be a emo-rock band!) made the mistake of tacking this on to the end of an already very difficult workout. And I’m sure we were doing it wrong anyhow. But it was an amazingly difficult leg workout. Everyone, including Gym Buddy Mike, was shaking by the end. We repeated this workout Wednesday and Friday. I have new respect for ballerinas, and my calves, now. And? My butt. is. still. sore.
Shorty Experiment #2: Madonna’s Workout
Okay, I admit that I approached this workout with a level of derision I usually only bring out for people who call the National Enquirer “the news” or answer “chicken butt” to “What’s up?”. I figured there was no way Madonna could be her ripped self on this wussy workout.
I eat crow.
I decided, after dreaming about Madonna kicking my (very sore) butt, that I ought not disparage a workout that I haven’t actually tried. So, Gym Buddy Allison and I worked out like Madonna today. We wore our shiny leggings and cropped tees and fluffed our hair. (Although we couldn’t find our plastic jelly bracelets either MizFit!) Kidding. Actually we did this:
Madonna’s Workout (not to be confused with The Madonna Workout which involves a lot of deep knee bends and charity work)
100 V arm raises with 3-lb weights
100 arm pulses over head with 3-lb weight, each arm
100 plie squats
100 pike-ups with 3-lbs weights
Again, we made the mistake (will we never learn?!?) of tacking this on after a grueling CrossFit WOD. And we were brought low by stupid, wussy 3-lb hand weights. Turns out if you do anything 100 times it really really hurts. I’m embarrassed to say this but both crazy-strong Allison and getting-stronger me had to take breaks. I kid you not. I can only imagine what our fellow weight-floor residents must have thought watching us struggle, scream and then hit failure with 3-lb weights.
But the arms were not the worst of it. 100 pike-ups were so torturous that we did them in 20-count bursts punctuated by laughing fits. It really was that funny. I don’t know how much I like this as a real workout – I would have to see it more fleshed out (Not Madonna – we’ve seen way too much of her flesh, just the workout thank you). As it is, it doesn’t seem to target all the muscle groups (hey, who needs back muscles?). But I would imagine that since Madge reportedly spends upwards of 2 hours a day working out (no judging here!), she probably does a lot more than just this. Yoga? Pilates? Crazy-rich-celebrity moves that only billionaires know about? Anyhow, I have new respect for Madonna, and my abs, now. And? My shoulders still feel like lead.
Shorty Experiment #3: Turbo Sport
My beloved TurboKick came out with a new (half?) round they call Turbo Sport. In short, it is all the Turbo core moves without all the Turbo fun. Officially it’s supposed to be a more “athletic” turbo, which I don’t understand because Turbo is already very athletic. I mean, it was okay, and the calorie burn was just as good as regular Turbo but it just wasn’t fun. I hate to whine. I love new stuff. But I think that was the problem with this round – it wasn’t new at all. It was just the same kicks and punches. The ab track, however, was harder than the already difficult regular ab track. And the push-up track was a welcome change too. But in the end, this dancer girl needs her finesse back:)
And just in case you ever wonder why I am the way I am – I blame this: