I Am A Gym "Don’t"

This morning, as the in-laws are still in town (10 days, people!!), I decided to sneak off to the gym in the wee hours of the morning so I could squeeze in a much-needed stress-relieving workout after a lovely relaxing day yesterday of pie and mashed potatoes. So I slipped on my sneaks and new workout pants and eased the car out… into the blizzard.

When It Snows, It Pours
Things did not get better from there. The check engine light in my car came on (still working on that one). I forgot my gym ID card (they let me in anyhow, thanks YMCA nice people!). It took ten minutes and a small rainforest’s worth of paper towels to dry off my shoes. But at last I was happily trotting away on the treadmill. Sweat had just started to drip off my elbows (mental note: ask Santa for arm bands next year) when it happened: Stars. Dizziness. Ick.

I’d been in such a hurry to leave the house before a child or non-blood relative caught me that I hadn’t taken time to eat or drink anything. I chugged down some water and finished my hill intervals but it wasn’t pretty.

Ever the slow learner, I headed to the weight floor to make up for my missed weight day yesterday. Today was descending sets, upper body, so I grabbed a set of dumbbells and headed to a flat bench for presses and flys.

I dropped two 30-lb dumbbells. On my chest.

And then, because I normally handle that weight with ease (or because I’m just dumb), I tried again. I dropped two 30-lb dumbbells. Again. This time one glanced off my shoulder as the other one was headed for my, um, girl area until I rolled quickly off the bench. There was a lot of clanging. And mental cursing. Save for my pride, I am unhurt, thankfully. But it wasn’t graceful.

Save Me From Myself
Of course I was the only girl on the weight floor this a.m. (Normally I lift with two other girls but they, sans in-laws, were still sleeping blissfully.) And, of course, every man in there was watching me with this look of horror on their faces. One actually shook his head and turned away as if saying “I just can’t watch what happens next.” I think the rest were waiting for a hidden camera crew to jump out. Fortunately one kind soul stepped in to save me from myself.

“Need a spot?” he asked very tactfully.

Or a brain transplant. I nodded and let him hand me the weights. “I got it now, thanks.” I was embarrassed. Words can’t even describe my level of humiliation.

“I think I’ll just stick around until you finish your set.”

I nodded and tried not to let my arms shake. “Thanks.”

As I finished my set, he added, “You know, sometimes I try and up my weight too fast. But then I gotta think to myself, just be safe dude.”

I wasn’t upping my weight but he still made a good point. Just be safe, dude. Chagrined, I kept my weight lower for the rest of my workout.

The Moral of My Sad Story
Don’t have a bad day. Just kidding. The moral is be safe. Have a lifting partner. Listen to your body. LEARN from my mistakes. Don’t be stupid. Oh yeah, and eat breakfast.

This PSA brought to you by Charlotte, The Gym Don’t.

Help me feel better guys! Tell me your own “gym don’t” story!! Please???

9 Comments

  1. About 3 years ago, I was about to do dumbbell incline presses to finish up my workout. I grabbed two dumbbells of what I thought were my usual weight (60 pounds), and took them to the incline bench. As I got ready, I lifted the dumbbell in my right hand into position easily, but couldn’t bring the one in my left hand up. I tried unsuccessfully twice, and on the 3rd try I ended up somehow throwing the dumbbell back over my shoulder, where it landed on the metal support for the bench, making an incredibly loud clang and drawing the attention of everyone in the gym. Humiliated, I bent over to pick up the dumbbell. That’s when I realized that I’d grabbed a 60 pound dumbbell in my right hand and a 90 pound dumbbell in my left. It made me feel better about not being able to get the dumbbell into position, but I wondered how the heck I’d picked up a 90 pound dumbbell in one hand and a 60 pound dumbbell in the other and not noticed the difference… Now I read and re-read the weight printed on the dumbbells at least 3 times before I use them.

  2. Lucas – you officially made my whole day:) “ended up somehow throwing the dumbbell back over my shoulder” – LOL!! And I too have grabbed free weights of differing sizes and not realized it (although not a 30-lb difference!). I’m so impressed you can press 60 pounders! Hoo-ah!

  3. Not that *I* did this, but I’ve seen people fly off the treadmill because they are watching TV or reading and not paying attention!

  4. Oh boy… I know I’m really late to this one, but I have a really great story…

    I was at the gym going back into a fitness binge. I was doing dumbell presses but wasn’t sure what weight to use. So I upped the weight between each set. This led to me (with way too much weight) laying on the bench thinking about pressing the weight up. Well… my right arm did fine… he did a perfect dumbell press. And my left arm hit the floor. Guess where my right arm went after that. Yeah. All this with a “chick” right next to me watching the whole thing in horror.

    Good times.

  5. Swerdna – Ah, you are NEVER too late with an awesome story like that one. Hee:) Glad you didn’t hurt yourself. But I totally wish I’d seen it!! *high fives all around*

  6. my belated tale of woe…

    i was once so enraptured with whatever was on the screen in front of me during a TM run that one of my feet slipped off the *front* of the belt. my upper-body propelled into the treadmill console at a glorious 8 mph just before my ass landed on the belt (still running, bc who wears the safety clip? not me.), legs akimbo in the ‘i haven’t been able to do the splits since i was 11 and OW this hurts’ kind of way. by the grace of god, i didn’t wrench a knee; but the bruises on my boobs didn’t fade for a week.

    LUCKILY, i was in my basement. on gym treadmills, i am much more vigilant… 😉

  7. Anon – ouchouchouchouch!! I got hit in the boob with a softball once and had a horrible bruise. I swear boob bruises hurt worse than normal ones!

  8. I’m really late to the party but had to share.

    I’d just graduated from doing chin-ups on the machine with no assist to doing them on a bar in the weight room, where the Big Huge Guys lift Really Heavy Things (I’m 5’2 if I stand up really straight). I screwed up my courage, walked in the room like I owned it, and grabbed the chinup bar, which is part of a large weight-lifting-pulleys-and-stacks machine. I then pulled myself up like a madwoman…and would have cleared the bar beautifully if I hadn’t been facing the wrong way. Because I was facing the wrong way, I slammed the top of my little blonde head into one of the bars on the machine. Fortunately, the only guy in there was in his own little world, but that was definitely not one of my better days.